How to discover a medical quack
(Humorous story transcribed from Memphis Daily Appeal., August 08, 1858)
SCENE IN COURT
Hon. David Paul Brown, of the Philadelphia Bar, relates the following good story in a late work of his:
A quack had instituted a suit for medical services against one of his neighbors, and the suit being brought for the use of another, became himself the witness.
A Mr. Williams, who was employed to defend the suit and expose the quackery and ignorance and worthlessness of the service rendered, subjected the doctor to the following examination:
- Counsel — Did you treat the patient according to the most approved rules of surgery?
- Witness — By all means, certainly I did.
- Counsel — Did you decapitate him?
- Witness — Undoubtedly I did; that was a matter of course.
- Counsel — Did you perform the Caesarian operation upon him?
- Witness — Why of course; his condition required it, and it was attended with great success.
- Counsel — Did you, now, doctor, subject his person to autopsy?
- Witness — Certainly; that was the last remedy I found.
- Counsel — Well, then, doctor, as you first cut off the defendant’s head, then dissected him, and he still survives it, I have no more to ask, and if your claim will survive it, quackery deserves to be immortal.